


Nyota's Five Step Guide To Enraging Vulcan Fathers

by eurosthewanderer



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: BAMF Nyota Uhura, Deltan Culture, Deltan!James T. Kirk, Deltans, F/F, M/M, Sarek's A+ Parenting, Vulcan Culture, Vulcan OC's
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-03-20 03:46:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18984595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eurosthewanderer/pseuds/eurosthewanderer
Summary: Jim is a retired hooker. A retired Deltan hooker.Sarek is a dick.Spock needs a date.Nyota is just a BAMF.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am just clearing out my notebooks and I have about half of the second chapter written so that will be up before the end of summer. The second chapter of On Orion's Belt is done and should be up next weekend. If anyone would be interested in being a beta please reach out in the comments or contact me up on Tumblr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Star Trek belonged to me that scene Kirk has in "Into Darkness" with the two Caitian women would feature a man instead. And actual nudity.

“Spock,” S’chn T’Gai Spock looked up from his desk, where he was sitting, working with Nyota on her master’s thesis, to see his father standing in his office doorway.

“Father,” He asked, thinking he was hallucinating. “What urgent matter has caused you to visit me?”

“ You will be accompanying your mother and I to the Betazoid opera this evening along with Ambassador Sofek and T’Mala, his eldest daughter, whom you will wed during your next recess in employment.” Sarek responded in T’cansu, eyeing Nyota.

“I beg your pardon?” Spock said, stunned.

“I believe I was perfectly clear.” Sarek said, before he turned in the doorway and left.

“What the fuck?” Nyota all but hollered. “That was your father?”

“Indeed.” Spock responded. “And that was also the first time I had spoken to him in fourteen years.”

“And he’s trying to get you married.” Nyota said, pursing her lips, clearly furious.

“Indeed.”

“To a woman.”

Spock felt no need to comment on her statement. Other than their mutual, brief, foray into hetrosexuality, his preference in partners was male. Not that his father had noticed, even when it had been grounds for his divorce with T’Pring. He wondered if Sarek had even taken a moment to read the divorce transcript. Spock felt a sudden spike of fury at the memory of his father’s comments following the dissolution of his marriage.

“Indeed.” Spock said. “Soren is my father’s direct superior and the Ambassador to the Federation, a position my father hopes to be appointed to upon Soren’s retirement.”

“That’s fucking bullshit.” Nyota snapped.

“A logical assessment of the situation.” Spock responded. “But I do not believe there is anything I can do.”

“You could hire a Deltan hooker.” Nyota said sarcastically.

“Highly improbable, given…” Spock started but was quickly cut off.

“No it’s not!” Nyota almost shouted, clearly filled with glee. Her eyes were alight and her mouth stretched into a wicked smile.

“Nyota?”

“You can’t hire a _Deltan_ hooker.” She explained, grabbing her phone from her desk. “But you can hire a retired half-Deltan hooker.”

And that was how Spock met Jim Kirk.

 

Or rather, it was how Spock was dragged half way across San Francisco to a modest thirteen story apartment complex. Nyota all but dragged him along, chattering as she did so.

“..Jim was an absolute ass. Like why on earth are you trying to hit on me? Do you think I’m gonna sleep with you? Then guess what we’re speaking Moyel and oh right, Deltan’s are dicks who think with their huwls. And I ended up giving the ass my number. But you know what? He set me up with Galia so I suppose we’re friends now.” Nyota rambled. “He would be over and I’d be stumbling in drunk after we broke up and he’d braid my hair and feed my electrolytes. I mean honestly, there’s a reason he stopped drinking when he turned twenty-one and it wasn’t the prostitution.”

“How did you become aware that this person was a sex worker?” Spock repeated his original question, still confused.

“Well, it’s a Deltan tradition. Once they’re of age, most Deltan’s sell their virginity and some continue to sell sex to pay for school or whatever.” Nyota responded. “It’s called Babyl. I asked him about it when I was writing as essay for Tan’s Diverging Culture’s class and he said it comes from a bunch of religious practices. Like humans and pyramids.”

“I assume Jim required funds for Star Fleet.” Spock commented.

“Yup.” Nyota popped her “p” as they came up to a padd by the side of the building’s elevator.

“Given I am not soliciting his company for sex,” Spock asked. “Do you have any idea of his price range?”

Nyota pulled out her phone and typed a number into the padd and the elevator doors swung open.

“He’ll probably do it for free.” Nyot said with a shrug as they got into the elevator and she pressed the button for the third floor. “Some people just want to watch the world burn and have something better to do with their free time that scroll through hookup apps.”

Spock honestly had nothing to say to that statement as the elevator chugged slowly to the third floor. There were several doors opened in the third floor hallway. Three Kroisians and an Andorian women were standing in one doorway while children of indeterminate species raced around the hallway. But Nyota turned sharply and knocked on the door to the first apartment next to the elevator. She pressed the buzzer.

The steel door slid open to reveal a swirling a human male that Spock vaguely recognized as having been in his Introduction to Programming course the past semester.

“Hi Leonard.” Nyota said in greeting. The male scowled at her.

“Let me guess, Cupcake got stabbed.” The human said before he saw Spock. “That is not Cupcake.”

“It certainly isn’t Bones.” A lightly accept, laughing voice came from behind the human.

“Yeah, well, I’ve got a rule about orgies, Jim.” Leonard snapped back. “And they happen when I’m not in my apartment.”

“Unless there’s blondes, you mean.” The unseen male said back.

“Three people does not fit the definition of an orgy, Cadet.” Spock interjected into the argument. Leonard just glared before going back into the apartment. Behind him was a light haired, pale violet skinned male with the brightest blue eyes Spock had ever seen. Spock felt his jaw drop for the second time that day. Jim was exquisite. He had high cheekbones and a strong nose to frame the most luscious lips that Spock had ever seen. They were just thick enough to be inherently sexual but not enough that they were obscene when they moved. Spock could see the shift of a pink tongue and straight white teeth beneath the delicious lips.    

Nyota gave Spock’s shoulder a shove, snickering and Spock realised that he had just been invited inside. The apartment was neat but clearly inhabited. There was a sitting room with books and blankets spread over the coffee table and couch, respectively. Across from the sitting room was a small, clean kitchenette and beyond that Spock could see three doors.

Jim lead Spock and Nyota into the sitting room, when enabled Spock to see that he had a plump, delicious ass that rivaled his lips in it’s beauty. Jim bent and moved a sweatshirt reading “Georgia Tech” in bright red lettering from the couch. Spock cocked his head, suddenly panic stricken.

“Are you romantically involved with Cadet McCoy?” Spock asked, his voice high and loud.

“Nope.” Jim responded with a smile. Spock heard a muffled shout of denial come from one of the closed door. “He’s my brother from a different mother.”

“Do you have soda?” Nyota giggled and sat down, crossing her leg.

“Coke or Pepsi?” Jim asked.

“Sprite?”

“Club Soda work?”

“I’m not picky.” Nyota responded with a flick of her ponytail and a shake of her head.

“What about you, Commander?” Jim asked. Spock blinked, suddenly having to battle embarrassment at the question.

“That is not necessary,” Spock said. “Thank you.”

Jim trotted off to the kitchen, enabling Spock to again watch the half-Deltan’s delectable ass as he moved. Jim returned with Nyota’s club soda and the three sat down on the couch. Spock was still unashamedly staring. The Deltan was well dressed, in a near length shawl over what could only be described as a crop top and kilt. Jim ears and nose had small silver beads pierced into his purple flesh. They did not look fresh but Jim itched has itched his nose 12.3 times in the last 2.6 minutes, indicating that he was uncomfortable with the piercing.

Spock was not entirely sure if Jim was going to give his father a heart attack or give himself an irrepressible erection. Which would likely also lead to his father having a heart attack. Spock was not ashamed of the fact that he found himself mildly amused by the prospect.  

“I have not heard the price on your time.” Spock said. Jim cocked his head and pursed his beautiful mouth.

“It was two hundred an hour with additional for various sex acts.” Jim said while leaned forward and waved his hand in a slashing motion. “But I’m not charging you.”

“That would be illogical.” Spock said and Nyota kicked his shin.

“My license lapses in four days.” Jim responded. “I owe Gaila around fifteen or so favors and Bones would kill me if he knew that this conversation was happening here.”

“Do you intend to spend four days in my presence?” Spock asked. Jim gave him a blinding smile and chuckled. Spock’s jaw slumped open which caused Jim’s eyebrows to shoot up his forehead.

“Are Vulcan’s immune to pheromones?” Jim asked Nyota, voice concerned. “Does he get like this when he’s around Gaila?”

“Yes.” Spock said. “No.”

“He’s half-human and gay.” Nyota ignored Spock.

“Yeah,” Jim said. “He’s in pheromone happy land.”

“I am not,” Spock responded firmly. “I am simply attempting to determine whether or not you would be amenable to dining with me following the opera.”

Nyota gagged on her club soda next to Spock and he reached around to thump her on the back. Jim was grinning widely.

“That’d be wonderful.” The half-Deltan said.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting the parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vai kahr (holy city)  
> “Sos ragtau t’nash-veh sa-fu heh s’katelau?” (may I introduce my son and his mate)
> 
> If Star Trek belonged to me that scene Kirk has in "Into Darkness" with the two Caitian women would feature a man instead. And actual nudity.

“How are we handling the introductions?” Jim asked as Spock put the directions to the opera house into his aircar. 

“I do not understand that question.” Spock said as the car started and pulled onto the road. 

“Are you introducing me as your boyfriend, fiance, squeeze of the week?” Jim elaborated. 

“I was intending to introduce you as my preferred paid companion but that may be remiss given we intend to explore the possibility of a courtship.” Spock responded, looking unconcerned.

“I’m not your boyfriend yet.” Jim managed not snap. Spock hadn’t crossed a single line or raised one hair on Jim’s body but he seemed to assume a lot. 

“But I am also not paying you for the evening.”

“Dinner counts.” Jim said with a quirked smile. 

“That is illogical.” Spock said. “While the exchange of goods for services has been an acceptable form of transaction in both of our cultures for millennia, various social services and the prevalence of said social services lessen the need for such direct exchange.”

Jim smiled at the Vulcan. Spock was the right kind of nerd and Jim wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to hug Nyota for introducing them or be mad at her for having taken so long to do so.  

“So I’m your date then?” Jim asked.

“Yes,” Spock said after a moment’s hesitation, his pointy eyebrows knitted together as he thought. “That would be an accurate statement.”

“Aren’t your parents going to ask questions?”

“Vulcans consider it the height of illogic and bad manners to question the personal dealing of another individual.” Spock explained. “My mother will likely attempt to elicit details of our courtship from you and it would be logical for you to be honest with her. She will find our circumstances amusing.”

Jim looked at Spock for a moment. He had large, expressive, chocolate colored eyes that seemed to pull Jim toward him. Jim had met Vulcans before-Balt’s hairy huwl, he’d fucked several of them-but he’d never seen eyes like his. 

“Is your mother Vulcan?” Jim asked.

“No,” Spock said as the car came to a complete stop beneath a red light. “She is human. Is that a concern?”

“Nope.” Jim said, popping his “p.” He really needed to stop hanging out with Nyota. “I’m half-human myself.”

Spock raised an eyebrow and Jim saw his lips give a miniscule twitch upward. 

“What about your would be fiancé and her father?” Jim asked. “Want me to hit on you or grab your ass or something?”

“I believe that simple hand holding would suffice for offending them.” Spock said, clearly amused. “Perhaps a kiss on the cheek, if we must.”

“How about a kiss on the hand?” Jim asked. 

“I have no interest in being disinherited at this time,  t’nash-veh las’hark.” Spock responded as the air car pulled into an open spot. 

“My sun?” Jim confirmed.  

“A fitting description.” Spock said. 

“Not too personal but affectionate.”

“I am glad you approve.” Spock responded. They lapsed into a moment’s silence. Jim watched the skyscape fly by as Spock’s car weaved higher and higher up the traffic lanes. When Jim turned his head back to look at Spock, he saw the Vulcan’s eyes dart away from him. Spock was blatantly Suraki, both by his flat accent and aquiline-esk looks. 

“I was unaware you spoke T’cansu.” Spock commented. 

“You’ve only known me for,” Jim checked his silver watch. “Thirty minutes.”

“43.96.” Spock corrected him. Jim looked back down at the sleek, minimalist, betazoid style watch. It had been a gift from a generous ambassadorial aide and was one of the few presents he’d gotten from johns Jim couldn’t imagine reselling. It was shaped to resemble an eye with the center of the watch resembling the pupil centered between two arches.

Jim shrugged and tucked his hand back into the center of his kaftyn. 

“May I ask how you learned Vulcan?” 

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.” Jim grinned, lazily, cocking his head and causing his earrings to swing and scratch his neck. 

“You possess an Golian accent.” Spock responded. “I find it illogical that a Deltan would have lived comfortably in my planets most conservative region.”

“Your from Shikahr?” Jim asked.

“Affirmative.” 

“It shows.” Jim responded. “You ever actually lived in Gol?”

“No, I have not.” 

“I assume you just went for your Kun-ut-katr-la?” Jim asked.

“I have visited the vai kahr  on seven separate occasions.” Spock responded, tense in his seat. “My father frequently traveled to Gol to represent our clan.”

“What’s your father’s name?” Jim asked, suddenly suspicious of exactly whose car he was in. 

“Sarek.” Spock responded. “S'chn T’Kali Sarek son of Skon and T’Pau.”

And _ that's why you vet your clients _ , Jim thought grumpily,  _ Balt’s saggy cunt.  _

“Spock. This is either going to get you disinherited,” Jim began, dead serious before he allowed his face to break out into a grin. “Or it’s going to be hilarious.”

“I do hope you gain something from aiding me.” Spock said, a ghost of a smile flitting across his face. 

“Other than dinner.” 

“That would be offered regardless of whether you aided me or not.” Spock said. He was clearly trying to assure Jim of something. Probably his affection. The half-Deltan would give this a month or two before Spock developed some kind of tolerance to his hormones and got over the idealization phase. 

“How generous of you.” Jim responded. He looked back out the window as the car headed into the San Francisco's city center.  “Tell me about your first bondmate.”

“I fail to see how that information would be relevant.” Spock said, looking incredibly uncomfortable at the question. 

“Vulcans rarely get divorced.” Jim responded. “No, wait.  _ Suraki _ Vulcans rarely divorce their chosen bondmates until after the Koon-ut-kal-if-fee. Your father would have had to tell his boss something in order to sell him on marrying his daughter to you. What do you think it was?”

“Both my former bondmate and I are homosexual.” Spock confessed. The twitch of his face told Jim just how painful that confession had been. 

“Thank you.” Jim said softly. “I’m sorry you….. _ Wait _ .” 

“My father remains unaware of my preferences.” Spock responded and he peered over at Jim, his big, dark eyes alight with some hidden humor. “ _ Illogicall _ y ignorant, despite all his wisdom.”

“Well, I’m afraid we’re going to have to provide some correction then.” Jim snorted and shook his head.

“I will find it enjoyable.” 

“Enjoyable?” Jim grinned and leaned toward his companion. “How about we burn down the building?”

“Both the implied and literal meaning of that statement would result in our arrests.” Spock said. He was smiling with bright, glowing, almost mesmerizing dark eyes that seemed to radiate joy. Jim smiled back, feeling the need to preen under Spock’s attention. He leaned forward so that the sharp tip of his nose was almost touching Spock’s.

“Are you so very sure about that?” Jim asked teasingly.

“Are you implying we would not?” Spock responded. 

“There’s no law against public sex in San Francisco unless there are children present.” Jim responded. “Things you learn.”

“Fascinating.” Spock’s voice deepened and softened into a low purr. And that was it. Jim could feel his skin start to burn as his pheromones flared up. Spock almost automatically swayed forward and kissed Jim. He yanked Jim forward hard enough that Jim’s seatbelt locked against his shoulder. Jim raised his hand and cupped Spock’s cheek as the Vulcan nipped as his lower lip, demanding entry.

Jim allowed Spock’s tongue into his mouth but then wedged it between his tongue and his top teeth. Jim could feel Spock jump at the light pressure on his tongue. The Vulcan reached out and put one of his hands on the side of Jim’s face, fingers brushing against the half-Deltan’s meld points.

Jim gasped into Spock’s mouth at the feeling of his mind against Jim’s. Spock’s mind was a brilliant, shining, swirling mass of emotion that set Jim’s sinapses and genitals aflame. But the message Spock projected into Jim’s mind was confusing. 

Jim pulled away from the kiss to meet Spock’s eyes. 

“What concerns you, thyla?” Spock asked. His human irises were blown wide with lust despite the fact that his mind showed less than Jim expected in response to his preening. 

“We’re mentally compatible aren’t we?” 

The car beeped as it dove down toward the air pad atop the Opera House. Spock pulled back from Jim with a look of pure frustration that wouldn’t look out of place on a Rigellion or Andorian’s face. Maybe even a Klingon’s face but Jim hadn’t met one. Yet. 

Spock got out of the air car and extended his hand out to Jim. Jim raised his eyebrows at Spock but took the offered palm, regardless. A bolt of warmth shot up Jim’s arm, reminding him of exactly why he had agreed to date Spock in the first place. Other than most of everything else about Spock. 

Spock put a hand on Jim’s lower back as he instructed a staff member on where to park the aircar. Spock led Jim to the left of the ticket booth with a hand on his lower back. 

“I will introduce you as my partner.” Spock informed Jim. “Provided you are comfortable with that title.”

“Is it the most likely to offend without you getting disinherited?” 

“I believe so.” 

“Let’s do it then.” Jim said with a smile.       

The two men walked directly to the side entrance where Spock handed his ID to the teller. The bored looking woman scanned it and waved them through. Spock and Jim walked up the stairs, weaving through ornately dressed groups of people. The inside of the Opera House was red like human blood but the VIP lounge and personal boxes were more gold and purple than red. 

“Which box is your father’s?” Jim asked. 

“The fifth,” Spock responded and removed his hand from Jim’s lower back.  

Just before they entered the door, Jim took a deep breath and let out a loud, unprompted barking laugh. 

All eyes in the VIP lounge turned to them but when they entered the room only a human woman with an ornate gold and jade headdress turned around to smile at Jim. There were also three Vulcan’s sitting with her but they did not turn in their seats to gawk as the human stood up and gave her son a hug.

“Spock!” Spock’s mother said. “Look at you, kan-bu. You look so handsome.” 

The Vulcan male sitting next to Spock’s mother looked almost identical to Spock, other than the grey hair, stern mouth and generally pissed off expression. When he turned around, he looked right past his son to stare at Jim.

“You have the wrong box.” Spock’s father said to him, glaring. Like not even bothering to hide it or keep a Vulcan lack of expression, he was just glaring. 

“Sa-mek.” Spock said, holding up the ta’al. “May I present my date, Jim Kirk.” 

“Explain.” Spock’s father demanded but was ignored by as Spock’s mother flitted up to Jim.

“How lovely to finally meet you!” She said and gave Jim a hug. “Spock has told me so much about you.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma'am.” Jim said and hugged her back.

“Oh you must call me Amanda.” Amanda insisted. “And of course you know of my husband, Sarek.”

Sarek stood up, still glaring with such an unVulcan expression that Jim thought he was about to be incinerated. 

“I have not heard of you.” Sarek said in lieu of greeting. 

“Then perhaps you should speak to your son more than once every fifteen years.” Amanda responded sweetly. Then she spun around and gestured to the two other Vulcans in the opera box.

“Ambassador, T’Sai.” Amanda said. 

“T’nar pak sorat y’rani.” The old Ambassador said.

“T’nar jaral.” Jim and Spock both said at the same time. Spock did not jump but his mouth twitched upward, again. The young woman repeated her father’s greeting before introducing herself to Jim.

“I am T’Mala.” T’Mala said. “I have never met a Deltan. May I ask if monogamy is possible for your species?

“Yes,” Jim responded,  _ so much for non-invasive questions _ . “Most Deltan’s are monogamous for at least a fourth of their lives. But I am half human and follow human practices in relationships.”

“Fascinating.” T’Mala asked. “Do you believe that your half-human status is what attracted you to Spock?”

“Nope.” Jim said, twitching his head in a mimicry of Nyota. “I like him cause he’s smart and hot and can’t say the word ‘fuck’ without his ears turning bright green.”

Right on queue Spock’s ears turned cherry apple green. Sarek on the other hand, scowled. 

“Illogical.” Jim heard Spock’s father murmur but when he turned to look at him, Amanda was kicking his shin. Quite hard, given the wince Sarek did not successfully repress.       

  
  


  
  


  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theethin (beautiful/fertile one)
> 
> If Star Trek belonged to me that scene Kirk has in "Into Darkness" with the two Caitian women would feature a man instead. And actual nudity.

Spock felt his embarrassment increase tenfold as his mother tucked her heeled foot underneath her skirt. While he was unfailingly impressed with his mother’s ability to silence his father in a split second but her  _ talent  _ also meant that her dark eyes turned on him. He watched as she bounced two steps up to Spock  and grasped his arm. 

“Come on and sit by me!”  She said and then dropped her voice low enough that everyone but her would hear it loud and clear. “I’m happy your, hmmm,  _ exploring your humanity.” _

“That was not necessary, Ko-mek.” Spock said, now mortified at this point. 

“Oh, pish!” Amanda chuckled. “It’s exactly what your doing!”

“I’m a Deltan, m’am.” Jim interjected from behind them. Spock wondered whether he ought to be grateful or horrified. 

“A blatantly obvious fact.” Sarek grumbled. 

“Do you work together?” Sofek politely inquired of Jim. 

“We have a mutual friend.” Jim responded. “I believe Sarek, your aide, met her this morning.”

Spock could all but feel his father start to glare at Jim even as he sat down next to his mother. When he craned his neck around to look at his father’s back he could see the amusement on Jim’s face as Sarek loomed over him.   

“You know,” Amanda said to Spock, pulling his attention away from his father behind him. “I had hoped to pair you with Stonn.”

“Stonn….?” Spock responded, highly confused. “Stonn the son of T’Ariis and Stomal.”   
“Yes.” Amanda responded cheerfully. “It would please your father and make sure he keeps you as his heir.”

“If wedding my second cousin would please my father then why is he attempting to bond me to T’Mala?” Spock inquired, quickly becoming irritated. 

“Oh,” Amanda shrugged. “I’ve not told him yet but Stomal believes it could be ‘highly logical match’ so I thought we might surprise him.”

“That is illogical.” Spock informed her, torn between horror and exasperation. 

“Oh, logic, logic! I’m sick to death of logic!” Amanda laughed his rejection of the idea off before her voice turned serious. “ I just wanted you to reconnect with your father, Spock. You do know how hard he took you choosing Starfleet over the VSA?”

Spock repressed his anger as best as he could in reaction to her statement. Spock had not told her of the incident that directly led to his rejection of the place amongst the other admitted students at the Vulcan Science Academy. It would be useless, if logical, for it would only make her feel as if it was some fault of hers and thus she would cry. 

“Given you have informed me of that fact exactly one hundred and fifteen times, I am well aware of that fact.” Spock snapped back. 

“I am just worried for the two of you.” Amanda reminded Spock. “It hurt your father an incredible amount, even if he doesn’t show it.”

“I am well aware.” Spock responded, clamping down on his feelings of betrayal.  _ His father was hurt?  _ Spock thought, cynically.  _ Or embarrassed?  _ That was what Sarek had told him immediately after the Council Interview,  _ that Spock had completely humiliated him in front of his colleagues and did he not think of how it would impact his standing amongst their people?  _ Spock had never worked up the courage to tell his mother exactly why he had refused entry to the Vulcan Science Academy. 

Jim laughed loudly from behind him, clearly amused by something Sofek had said. Spock looked over his shoulder at Jim and felt as if his breath had been snatched from his lungs. Jim’s pale violet skin was flushed with amusement that radiated from his wide, toothy smile and lit his blue eyes up, making them glitter and shine in his cheeks. Like a full moon on a starless night, Jim shown over the three Vulcans, his light robes only adding to the contrast to  his darkly clothed companions. Jim’s eyes left Sofek’s face to roam over Spocks’s and Spock could imagine that the half Deltan’s smile broadened. 

“Tell me, Ambassador Sofek,” Jim asked, eyes still focused onto Sofek’s face. “How did Sarek handle the Betazoid Ambassador going through the Phase?”

“I unequivocally refused to.” Spock’s father interjected into the conversation. 

“He did.” Amanda muttered into Spock’s ear. 

“My stepmother found success in other locals.” T’Mala informed Jim. 

“Indeed she did.” Sofek told the half Deltan, sounding smug enough that Spock was certain that Jim could pick up on it. 

“Oh,” Jim responded, eyes going wide. “Did she come to Terra with you?”  

“No, unfortunately.” Sofek told him, sounding concerningly remorseful. “She had business on her homeworld.”

Spock raised an eyebrow and looked at his mother, who’s brown eyes were wide with concern. Spock walked as she whipped her head around the other way to look at Sarek. Her pink veil hit Spock across the face. Thankfully it was one of her unembroidered veils so it caused him no pain. 

“My husband?” Amanda said while she draped herself over the chair, extending two fingers. Sarek turned his body 15.6 degrees to look at his wife with a raised eyebrow. His mouth was firmly set but Sarek’s cheeks were flushed. Spock unsuccessfully attempted to repress a feeling of horror upon realising that his father was aroused. 

“Attend.” Amanda snapped. Sarek did, shuffling over with obvious mortification. 

The lights got low as Sarek took his seat next to his wife. Spock, on the other hand rose, his sensitive ears relieved that as the rumble of the crowd faded away. 

“Jim?” Spock approached the half Deltan with two fingers extended. He physically placed his body between Jim and Ambassador Sofek, deciding that he was the larger threat to Jim. Jim, on the other hand looked at like the deer from the human proverb of a deer in headlights. The half Deltan blinked his massive eyes and Spock before slowly extending his pointer and ring finger to meet Spock’s. 

“Have I told you how handsome the earrings you chose are?” Spock queried. He was startled to sense the fact that Jim was surprised to receive a compliment. 

“No.” Jim responded.”But thank you. I’m surprised you noticed.”

“It is always logical to notice when one’s partner enhances their beauty.” Spock assure Jim as he guided the Deltan to the chair that was farthest to the right of the second row, directly behind Spock’s mother. Spock took the seat next to Jim. 

His statement had been true. Jim was exceptionally well dressed which was impressive given the status of the persons that Spock was introducing him to and even more so as Spock had only been made aware of Jim’s exceptional existence not twelve hours ago. Spock’s fingers followed Jim’s hand as the Deltan rested his wrist on the arm of the chair. Spock stroked his pointer finger over the back of Jim’s hand and swirled his ring finger over the half Deltan’s knuckles.

Jim smiled, appreciatively, to Spock and flipped his hand over to clasp Spock’s fingers between his own. Jim’s anxiety thrummed just beneath his skin, boiling up in the half Deltan’s belly to make his throat close up.    

Spock moved his free hand over to cradle Jim’s hand within his own, attempting to reassure him that all was well. Jim leaned his head toward Spock, not close enough to kiss the half-Vulcan as his chin was tipped downward and his forehead jutting out. Spock was momentarily confused but the movement but he was also the son of one of the Ambassador’s who had headed the original treaty negotiations with the Deltans. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Jim’s for a brief second as the wail of the orchestra began to play. 

“Spock.” Sarek’s voice was sharp even as the elder male did not turn around. 

“Sa-mek.” Spock responded. Amanda looked over her shoulder with a conspiratorial grin before she leaned over to press her lips to Spock’s father’s ear. She proceeded to whisper loud enough that Spock, Jim, Sofek and T’Mala could hear.

“I’m just so glad I’m not going to have to marry my son to your shithead cousin.”

“What?” Sarek responded. 

“Stonn  _ has  _ always been a bit of a nightmare, my love, and as much as I’d love to end your cold war with T’Ariis, using Spock to do so would have been,” Amanda paused for dramatic affect as the music climaxed. “ _ Horrendous.” _   
“I repeat, what?!” Sarek asked loud enough that it echoed within the pause of the orchestra and the majority of the audience turned and looked up at them. Jim slapped his hand over his mouth, jerking it from Spock’s grip, just as a female Orion in a stylized, raggedy blue dress walked on the stage and began to sing. 

Spock turned his head to see the Deltan cackling beneath his palm and felt mildly offended, despite the fact that he could understand the need to not break out in laughter during the opening number of  _ The Whore of the Temple.  _

T’Mala’s long nose appeared in the space between Jim and Spock’s shoulders and was quickly followed by the rest of her face. She leaned as far forward as she could, long, slender neck craning so she could speak to Sarek.

“Your wife speaks of a better match for your son yet you have me travel 151 trillion kilometers instead of simply defaulting on the proposal?” T’Mala hissed. Sarek’s head snapped around.

“My wife is jesting.” Sarek told her. “A human eccentricity.”

“Fascinating.” Spock said. “Mother, did you not inform Father of Stomal’s overture?”

Sarek whipped his head around to glare at Spock and ended up smacking his head against T’Mala’s nose. The young woman gave a shout of pain and shot backwards, catching Spock across the cheek as she did so. Spock bit back a grunt and closed his eyes, stunned for 1.2 seconds by the blow. When he opened his eyes, he saw the entire rest of the audience looking back at his parents. He had 43.7 percent of his mind made up to take Jim to dinner at that exact moment. 

“I believe my nose is bleeding.” T’Mala said.

* * *

T’Mala claimed her nose had not stopped bleeding once during the 50.2 minute First Act of the opera.  _ The Whore of The Temple  _ was certainly a controversial opera but Spock could confidently say that Haigga Jyllen was a lovely contralto if an abysmal dancer by Orion standards. At least, according to the one individual in the group that had seen Orion dancers. 

“What would you define as an excellent Orion dancer?” Spock asked Jim curiously as the two walked T’Mala out of her father’s box. 

“Well for starters, they’d have to be doing an actual Orion dance.” Jim explained. “She’d make  a fantastic ballerina, Balt, she probably did dance ballet and it shows in her dancing but  _ ballet is the opposite  _ of Kankan or even the more conservative Mhyada _. _ ”

“Indeed?” Spock responded. “But is it not logical to assume that there would be some crossover between disciplines?”

“Evidently not.” T’Mala muttered nasilly as she lead them to the bar.

“Are we not going to the bathroom?” Spock asked.

“I am putting the most expensive drink on your father’s tab, returning to my hotel, arranging for my return to Vulcan and going to sleep.” T’Mala informed them as she flagged down the bartender. 

She looked at Jim. “It would be logical for you to join me as Sarek’s actions cause as much offense to your person as they do to mine.”

“Ok.” Jim responded. “I’m sure he can afford it.” 

“Would it not be logical to seek medical treatment for your injury?” Spock inquired of the Vulcan woman, concerned.

“It would be illogical as I began aggravating my injury 10.7 minutes ago in order to reopen it and escape your parent’s idiocy.” T’Mala explained. 

“A highly logical choice.” Jim commented, leaning himself against the bar next to her. The movement highlighted the delectable curve of his ass beneath his wrap. Spock was not the only one admiring it.  

“I believe our parents would disagree.” Spock comment, placing himself between Jim and the white haired human male that was seated next to him. Spock turned his back to the human and squired his shoulders uncomfortably, blocking the human’s view of Jim.   

“I find it would be logical to inform our elders that we dined together and I rejected your marriage proposal at that time.” T’Mala snapped back as the bartender strolled over. 

“What can I get…” The bartender began but then stopped, eyeing Jim . “you?”

“Two of your best wines.” T’Mala told him. “Put it on Box Number Five.”

“Cadet Sulu. ” Spock greeted the bartender cooly. 

“Right away, m’am.” Sulu said and nodded toward Spock’s t'hy'la . “Professor Spock.”

“Hikaru.” Jim nodded to the asiatic human male. The man behind him coughed.  

“You are acquainted?” Spock asked, looking between Sulu and Jim. 

“We were in the same dorm my first semester.” Jim explained. Spock heard a loud cough come from behind him, again. He ignored it. 

“Why would he not greet you directly?” T’Mala inquired. “Did you develop some rivalry during that time?”

“Nope.” Jim told her. “But he used to date my current roommate.” 

“Fascinating.” T’Mala said. Spock heard a very loud cough directly next to his ear. Again, he ignored it. “Is that reason enough to…”

“Excuse me!” An accented voice said into Spock’s ear. “Could you move for a moment?”

Spock turned around to find himself nose to nose with the white haired human male. The man immediately craned his neck, trying to peer around Spock. 

“Why?” Spock inquired. “You have enough room surrounding your chair?”

The man put his hand on Spock’s shoulder to try and push him aside. Spock did not even have to brace himself against what amounted to a minimal amount of force against his Vulcan bred mass.

“Pardon me, Vulcan.” Another voice said from Spock’s side and he found himself shoved into the human in front of him. When Spock disentangled himself from the man, he saw the Andorian speaking to Jim.

“Hello theethin."

“You’ve never met a Deltan before have you?” Jim responded, obviously irritated.

“No, though I could imagine none more handsome than yourself.” The Andorian responded. 

“Ok, look,” Jim said, wiggling past the taller blue skinned man. “I can already tell that this is going to be on the highlight reel of your most embarrassing memories so why don’t you just get a drink and let me walk out of here?”

“James?” T’Mala interjected, visibly concerned as Jim quickly backed away from the bar. Spock strode toward him, nudging- _ shoulder checking _ -the Andorian out of the way. The human man followed directly after Spock. 

“Jim, is this person bothering you?” Spock managed to ask before being all but shoved behind a black haired human as he was stepping toward Jim. The contact combined with the instability caused by his movement led to Spock having to sway in order to regain his balance. Spock automatically assumed the rude person was the same male so he moved to grab at him before stopping short as he noticed the grey templed man was standing next to the Andorian. The small party was gaining more attention from the patrons at the bar as several other males of various species began to crowd around.    

“Hey! So it’s James, right?” The young, dark haired human male that had shoved Spock asked as he extended his hand toward Spock’s t'hy'la. “I’m Gary, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Balt’s saggy…” Jim bit off a swear word before he called out to T’Mala. “I think I’m gonna have to leave you do drink alone, T’sai.”

“Logical.” The female acknowledged.

“Hey,”  _ Gary  _ said. “I’m a Starfleet Lieutenant you know.” 

“And  _ I  _ own a fifteen commercial passenger vessels, kid.” The older human piped up. “Who are you trying to impress?”

Spock pushed his way past the young Lieutenant to grab Jim’s wrist, nerves screeching in protest as the icy metal of Jim’s watch made contact with his fingers.  _ Gary  _ began to argue voraciously with the older man as the Andorian stepped closer.   

“Jim….?”

“We need to go.” The Deltan said firmly, eyes wide with the same fear beat alongside Jim’s pulse. “Now.”

“Logical.” Spock responded as Jim curled his fingers to grab Spock’s wrist in turn. They turned, almost in sync and began to hurry away from the bar. 

“Where are we going for dinner?” Jim asked, tucking his body close to Spock’s. Spock looked at Jim, gaging his nerves by touch as well as expression, only to see several of the opera attendees openly staring at him. Spock was accustomed to being stared at, it had been a reality of having a human mother as a child and then living among humans as an adult. 

“I know of an excellent Twi’lek restaurant that is located exactly 5.4 minutes away.” Spock responded and began to lead Jim toward the stairs. The men from the bar were following them, still bickering even as they were joined by others, including a few women.  

“That’s cheap.” The Andorian’s voice rang out from behind Spock. But then another male spoke, coming up right beside Spock so that he could see the Vidian. “I’ll take you to the Ritz.”

“Oh fuck.” Jim muttered from beside Spock even as the Vulcan’s head snapped around. 

“The Ritz can only charge 200 credits a night for their finest suit.” Spock informed the large headed alien as he released Jim’s hand and swung his arm over the Deltan’s shoulder. They rushed into the entryway, hurrying down the stairs even as Spock could still hear the beings behind the arguing.      

“Hey honey, where are you going?” Spock recognized the elder human male’s accent and tightened his arm around Jim.

The air that hit Spock across the face held the first chill of winter, which made it positively freezing in Spock’s opinion. Spock shivered violently before he was able to respress it. 

“Let’s get a cab.” Jim said voice calm. 

“That would be logical.” Spock responded calmly. “Are you well, Jim?”

“Hey, did I tell you that I’m buying the theatre tomorrow?” A voice rang out from the stairs. 

Jim nearly jogged over to the assorted aircar’s that were parked along the front of the theatre, tugging Spock along with him. As if from the sleeve of Jim’s shawl, the Deltan produced a credit chip and fed it into the side of the aircar. The door slid open. 

“Heya!” Lieutenant Gary shouted, being the first of Jim’s pursuer’s to approach. Spock had half a mind to nerve pinch him and do it incorrectly at that, thus shattering the young man’s collar bone. Instead, Spock turned on his heel, placed his hands behind his back and glared at the Lieutenant.

“What ship are you assigned to, Lieutenant?” 

The human male ignore him and tried to dive around Spock to get at Jim. Spock grabbed him by the shoulder and kicked the man in the shin sending him hoping backwards with a yelp of pain. 

“I repeat,” Spock said. “What ship are you serving on?”

“The Archer!” Gary snapped back. “Get the fuck out of my….”

“I will be contacting Captain April tomorrow morning about your conduct.” Spock informed him.

“Who the fuck do you think..?” The human blustered, squaring his shoulders and rasing his fists.

“I am Commander Spock, the First Officer of the USS Enterprise.” Spock curtly informed the human with an unimpressed eyebrow. “I am also Vulcan which means that I am not only 300 percent stronger than yourself but also trained in Tal-shaya which would enable me to break your neck in less than 2 seconds.”

Gary sneered at him, opening his mouth before what Spock had said seemed to sink through whatever haze had taken over his brain. His face paled, brown eyes widening as his mouth fell open and he stepped backwards. 

Spock turned on his heel and climbed into the cab, firmly slamming the door beside him. Spock immediately placed his hand on Jim’s forearm.    
“I put in the address already.” Jim told him.

“What?” Spock asked.

“For dinner.” Jim said and pressed go. 

 


End file.
